G'day everybody, my name is Elliot Waters, and you're listening to the DIS regulated podcast. As always, thank you for tuning in. Alright, today's episode, I want to spend a little bit of time just discussing the importance of getting things done when things are going good. So capitalizing on momentum and getting things done when everything feels as though it's falling into place. And how it's very important for me at least, but I think this would be the case for a lot of people, it's very important not to think everything's just going hunky-dory and I don't have to do any of the hard work and you know, because everything's sweet. This is it, I'm content, happy days. That's a trap that I've fallen into many times previously, and it's important that I don't do that again. Because at the moment, I will say the last two weeks, the last fortnight, uh, have been quite good. And the reason it's been quite good is because I won the award from the university, the Young Alumni of the Year Award. That was two weeks ago today, actually. Um, and geez, that's gone quick. Um but since I got that award, as you can imagine, I've been feeling pretty good, you know, like it's recognition for a lot of the hard work and the sacrifices I've put in, and it adds more meaning to my experiences, the good and the bad. So, um, and there's more I'm gonna talk about the award um in a subsequent episode because I think it has a lot of significance for me personally, but I also think it has a lot of significance more broadly about how lived experience is being valued now, whereas maybe it wasn't before. So I'm gonna do an episode about that because it is important, this shift that I feel has been going on, um, where lived experience is being valued as much as dollar signs. And I think that's so important, and I think me winning the award um relates to that quite nicely. So, but anyway, that's in another episode. I'll be down the track. Uh, but first I want to talk about why it's important for me at least to take advantage of things when things are going good. Now, before I do though, I've got a little disclaimer to make, and that is today, today I've had, I reckon, the worst dry mouth I've ever had. Unbelievable. It didn't matter what I did, it just was not working for me. Um, so if I do stumble on words and stuff here on this episode, uh, that will be why. Um, you're probably thinking, uh hell yeah, yeah, you always bring out your dry mouth, yeah. And you'd be right, I do bring it up a lot, but it is important because it does have, you know, it it's it has consequences for my voice and my message that I'm trying to speak and convey. Um but the reason I'm bringing it up now is because it was so bad today, which is a bit of a concern. Um, I'm assuming, and I'm pretty sure it's a medication or a combination of medications that's causing this. And there's quite a few um that have dry mouth as a potential side effect, and as we know, I'm on a lot of medications, so the chances are pretty high that um this is gonna happen. It's no surprise that this is a a side effect I'm getting, but I do need to figure out why it seems to be getting worse and how I can um how I can reverse that and be able to overcome that little challenge because you know this is dry mouth that's occurring just during the day, just you know, when I'm at work or whatever. Um, this isn't even related to any any nerves or anxiety where I get, and a lot of people do, get dry mouth as a result of. Like, for example, I'm thinking about my presentations I do for the Black Dog Institute. Um, because when I present for Black Dog, I get very, very nervous and very anxious, whether it's an online webinar where I can't see the audience, or whether it's at a school setting and there's a thousand kids in front of me, um, it doesn't matter. I freak out and get very, very anxious. And you know, I have panic attacks leading up to the presentation, to the speech. And as a result, when I do start talking, I've said this before on the show that I'll frequently disassociate for the first five minutes, um, and then I'll come back to reality and I'll just be yapping away. And I always think to myself, I don't know what I just said in that first five minutes, but hopefully it makes sense. No one's throwing anything at me, so it must have gone over okay. Um, but my dry mouth is so much worse now than it used to be. It's a concern when you know I really use my voice a lot to try and get the things done in life that I want to get done. So, public speaking, although it it I'm petrified by it and terrified by it, public speaking is very, very important to what I do. And at the best of times, dry mouth is a concern. But if I'm getting such severe dry mouth as I am at the moment, um that does not bode well for future presentations. So the reason I'm bringing it up now though, because this opisage is not really meant to be about dry mouth, um, but it is to just let you know that if it isn't as clear, maybe, or I'm stumbling over a few words, or it sounds like I'm really struggling to, you know, get the words out, uh, that is why. So um that's another trick that I do with my uh presentations, um, in in particular with a live audience, I'll say, you know, I'll ask the crowd if anyone likes public speaking, and you know, usually the hands stay down, unless you're at a school setting, and there's always one or two boys mainly at the back of the group that always put their hands up. Happens everywhere, it doesn't matter where I've gone, what school, it's the same thing. And they'll put their hand up and go, I love public speaking, and I'll say, Well, it's very lucky for you guys, it's a great skill to have. You should really focus on that, whatever. The point is, when I tell people that I don't like public speaking, because I say my hand is down for a reason because I can't stand it. Um, the reason I do that is for two reasons. One is to um, I guess, show that you can do just about anything if you really put your mind to it, and I'm proof of that. You know, I've got all the anxiety disorders and the autism, and and yet I'm still able to get up there and speak. So I'd like to think that the example that I'm setting is a good one. Um, so I want to get that sort of idea across. Uh, but also the other reason, and to be honest, this is probably the main reason, is so I take a bit of pressure off because like I'm doing now with the dry mouth, I say, you know, I don't like public speaking, and it terrifies me, but I'm gonna push through anyway because this is something I find important, meaning and purpose, that sort of stuff. But to me, or for me, um, it just dials down um a bit of the nerves and the inner critic that's ready to go because I've come out and been open with it. You know what I mean? So I've said my piece, and if it all goes wrong, it's like, well, I warned them, you know, I I told them this could happen. So yeah, so it's a way to lower my nerves, and I'm doing a similar thing here, which is to tell you guys about this dry mouth thing, so it takes a bit of pressure off because we know lately I've been having a lot of difficulties actually getting episodes published, and it ain't been through lack of trying. So I need to take as much stress or or anxiety around this or or lower the expectations I have as much as possible and make things a bit easier for myself so I am actually able to complete an episode without um being crushed by my own expectations and this feeling I'm not good enough and not doing a good enough job. Okay, as I said, today's episode is not about dry mouth, and it's also not about my black dog presentations, although it's all important stuff. It is all about how I need to take advantage of things when things are going good. So, like I said, the Young Alumni of the Year award was a fortnight ago, and ever since then I've had a bit of a spring in my step, you know, because I've got that validation, and you know, I know that the sacrifices and the suffering that I've gone through has meaning and it is actually uh being celebrated, I suppose. And and my expertise in lived experience has been um, yeah, it's been, I guess, showcased and it's exciting stuff. And it, you know, I feel good, of course you do, yeah. Win an award, that's that's lots of dopamine flowing. The dopamine's been real high, saying, yeah, man, we're going all right, you know, let's keep doing this. And that's what I think is important and is important that I try and do, which is to try and keep this going for as long as I can. Now, we know as human beings, unfortunately, you know, the bad times are going to be coming. You can't be happy and on top of the world 24-7. It's not possible. Unfortunately, that's an inherent part of being a human. And trust me, I have done a lot of research trying to figure out how to just have good times constantly, but I haven't come up with an answer yet. So until I do, the reality is that we've got to accept is that unfortunately there's going to be some lower moments as well. And for someone, this is the real important part when it comes to this idea and mental illness. Um, and this goes for just about all the mental illnesses, which is unfortunately for people who have a living experience of mental ill health, we know that the bad times, or at least it feels this way, the bad times seem to outweigh the good. Um, and I would definitely say that's the case in my world, um, my perception of things, which is, I don't know, like for every two days I have good, I'll have five that are challenging, that sort of thing. So I know the bad-ish times are coming. And I also know that when they are bad enough, um, and this isn't once every blue moon, unfortunately, you've listened to the show. Well, if you've listened to the show consistently, you would know that these fluctuations in mood is nothing uncommon for me. And the problem, the biggest problem I have is the fact that I tend to stay in those low moods longer, um, a lot longer than I'm in the positive. And that's what happens with mental ill health. You know, that's all part of the deal, unfortunately. We have more bad times than good, or at least the bad times are more intense than they should be, and it outweighs the good. And I know, and this is something that a lot of people will, you know, be nodding your heads at and saying, Yep, yep, I'm the same. I know that when I'm not in a good mood and things are not going very well, or the perception of things is that it's not going very well, it's very hard to do anything, you know, beyond the basics. Even the basics are hard. Um, you know, that the motivation's not there, lacking inspiration. Instead of having all this energy and walking tall, you know, you're slumped over and there's not much energy going on, you're dragging your feet, that sort of stuff. So I know what I'm like when I'm in the lower moods, and I can't get much done other than the real bare basics. So instead of just I guess being content with the good times, I've got to be working through the good times. I've got to keep working, keep working and strike while the iron's hot, that sort of thing. Because I know the bad times are coming, and unfortunately, because I have mental illnesses, mental illnesses, mental ill health, um, those bad times are, you know, significant enough that they're clinically relevant. And what that means is that there's significant impairment in function. So the motivation's gone, the inspiration's gone, the positive outlook is gone. Um, so I just feel as though in these moments I'm just stuck, and like I said, I can just about barely get the basics done. And it's true, you know, that these low moments is when even showering becomes difficult or remembering to brush my teeth and and actually eat and you know, tape my meds properly, and although that's not a huge problem anymore, but it used to be. Um, those negative low moods are not good, and they can set me back if I haven't prepared for them adequately. And the way to prepare for them is to take advantage of the good times and really get things done and set myself up. So, and that's the problem like with mental illness is that the low times are more frequent, uh longer in duration, and are more severe, and it's really hard. But what makes those low moods and episodes even worse is if during the good last week I just had, I didn't actually get anything done because I thought everything was all sweet and I was content and I just relaxed, and now I'm really, you know, up the creek without a paddle because silly me forgot that you know I need to prepare for the eventual swing down towards the negative again. I need to prepare for that. So let's make sure all the basics are all good. You know, the washing's been done, um meal prepping's done, although I don't really do that, but I should. Uh the you know, medications, I've got plenty of them, enough of them. Um, I can do all that sort of stuff. Food's bought, I mentioned food, anyway, whatever. You know what I mean? The washing, I think I said the washing, but clean the car, clean the room, all that stuff. And it's similar with this podcast too. I've got to take advantage of well, well, actually that that reminds me of a perfect example. If you've been listening to the show long enough, you'd know that um, as well as talking about dry mouth all the time, I also talk a lot about this idea of overlaying a chart of the podcast episode output with my mood. So when things are going good, I'm sure some of you are going to, oh yeah, yeah, he says this all the time. When things are going good, um thankfully I tend to get more episodes out. And when things are not going so well, it's really, really difficult. So on the podcast front, I am pretty good with this, which is taking advantage when I'm in the mood to record. You know, if I'm in the mood, I sh I I really make a strong effort to try and take advantage right there, right then, or at least as close to this realization as possible. Um, because when I'm not feeling particularly good, that's when my inner critics and imposter syndrome and those other parts of me tend to try and well, not not all the parts, but the inner critic, let's say, is able to get louder because I'm not blocking, you know, I'm not soundproofing my walls to drown out my inner critic because I can't be bothered because I am not feeling good at all. So the inner critic just does its thing and I've got no oomph, no inspirational motivation to push back. I very much have to succumb because the lack of positive emotion. So, yes, so in the podcast world, I try and do the episodes as much as I can when things are going good, and I've got to make sure I continue that way of thinking and that pattern across all the different, I guess, domains of my life, knowing full well that the negative times are coming. I think that's a real strong lesson for everybody, like you know, ups and downs, apart being human, no one gets away with it. I've never met anybody that is just happy 24-7, it just doesn't happen. So it's important, I think, for all of us to when we do have the energy, even if it's just we look at one variable, lots of energy, you know, get active and get things done because it doesn't always last, and then unfortunately, what goes up must come down again as well. So, so it's very important for me to take advantage of that. So, what that means is that in like basically when I say taking advantage since the award, what I'm really saying is I need to be getting my resume out there and and really being serious about looking for a job that's um either in the transport field or the mental health space. And the thing is, I haven't been doing that. I've I've tweaked my resume a little bit, I've you know, I've done a bit of work, but I was thinking today, I was like, hang on, have I actually applied for anything? And the answer was no. I've been able to look at jobs because I'm in the good mood, I'm able to look at jobs and see the positives. So ordinarily, when I look at, say, a job role that could suit me, ordinarily, as far as I'm aware, other people, you know, read the job description and what money's being offered, and you know, get a bit excited because you can imagine yourself in this new job and things are going well and you're really committed to the cause and money's good and you can afford things. That's what people I think, I think this is what people think, ordinarily, when for example, you're dreaming about a new job. Whereas me, on the other hand, my default setting is that if I see a job that I would really, really like, there's sort of there's two things that I tend to think of, um, and they're very dominant. And sometimes I can't think anything but these two things. And one is that I'm not gonna get picked for the job anyway, it's just gonna be yet another disappointment, and like that's gonna cause me to be so depressed. And in my mind, I can already see the rejection. This is rejection sensitivity, um, very common with ADHD and borderline personality disorder, where you imagine in your mind's eye looking down the track and you're just getting rejected anyway. So, you know, the the idea or the feeling then as a consequence is what's the point of even trying? I'm just gonna get turned out anyway, you know. Oh well, you know, why is me? And that's then leads into something called learned helplessness, which is this idea that um you don't take the opportunities that can present themselves, but then still feel as though nothing's going right and you're never got a chance to, you know, improve your employment, even though there's been opportunities, but you've turned them down. So that's another thing that I fall into the trap of. So there's this rejection sensitivity where I just can see it in my mind's I'm getting rejected, you know, got that email that says thanks, but no thanks. So what's the point of even doing anything about it? Because it feels so real, you know. That's the thing. It's not just I'm imagining the rejection, like I'm feeling the rejection. I feel it, the disappointment in my stomach, you know, it feels terrible, and nothing's even happened. You know, nothing's happening. I'm just imagining what could happen if I apply, and I just think of the negative, and then I feel the negative too. It's one thing to just be thinking this stuff, but to actually physically feel the disappointment, like you know, that's why this is all mental illness, you know, this isn't normal. The extreme way that I and others who have got similar um, you know, mental ill health like I do, unfortunately, we see the rejection more frequently, just about all the time. And not only do we see the negative, we feel it as well. Whereas other people, as far as I'm aware, um imagine and can see the positives and then are able to dream about if I got that new job, well, this might happen, then I can do this and this. Whereas I don't feel that way, unless I'm in this really good frame of mind, like I am now at the moment. But the other thing that I feel with the whole jobs thing is not only do I have that rejection sensitivity, but then I see myself getting sacked and doing something wrong and making a huge mistake. So this is the anxiety component kicking in the gear. So the bit I was talking about before, the rejection sensitivity, that in itself is a concept on its own. But that to me, in the way I think of things, is linked with more the depression side of things. But this other component that I'm talking about right now, the imagining um getting fired and doing something wrong, making a huge mistake, that's really tied up with the anxiety. So if you've got both depression and anxiety or or depressive and anxious tendencies, uh, if you've got both of them at the same time, you can feel both of these feelings at the same time too. So on one hand, I'm getting rejected, don't have a chance of having it anyway. What's the point of trying? And then, you know, when I do imagine myself somehow being in the job, well, I'm gonna get sacked anyway because you know it's in transport again, I've dropped something on the forklift or I've crashed or something. So, you know, again, why even um put yourself through that? And then I think, ah, well, I I won't worry too much about, you know, trying to get this new job because it's not gonna end well. So that's that negative, maladaptive way of thinking because that what I've just described there is, you know, these are protective safety mechanisms that our minds have, our brains, our psyches have to try and protect us from bad things happening, right? So this is my fear, the anxiety part is, you know, my amygdala, the anxious sort of neurocircuitry, as we know for me, is dialed up way too high, way too high. Um, but me imagining things going wrong, uh that forces me to pivot away from that potential scenario. So technically, you know, my anxiety is protecting me from what I'm seeing could happen down the track by making sure I go nowhere near that situation. But what that means is I go nowhere near that job. Um, so that is a problem. And then the depressive side of things is also a bit of a safety mechanism to avoid the disappointment of being rejected and the you know, the depressed feeling that that can cause and the negative emotion. So again, it's a case of my neurocircuitry certain pathways just being dolled up way too high, way too high. And the result is I don't get to achieve anything like a new job, a new career, earn more money, do something in the field that I'd really like to do, or you know, use my degree that I'm sort of using, but not enough. Uh, I stay stranded in my current circumstances, which are not particularly good. I complain about having no money all the time and not doing the work that I'd maybe prefer to be doing, and how difficult that's been, and how that makes my anxiety worse. And so I need to find a way to break free of the negative thinking so I can put myself forward and really try and grab a hold of an opportunity, make the most of it, and then you know, pivot my life back towards the positive. So, to tie up this whole spiel with what I was talking about when it comes to taking advantage of the good times, is that in these good times that are so rare and fleeting for me, but this has been a particularly good one, thanks to the significant award that I won. Um that it's during these times that I can actually think of myself getting the job and not being rejected. And I can imagine myself being really good at my work and and having this great amount of fulfillment in what I'm doing and and this motivation to continue and do even better, and I'm doing a great job. How awesome's this? So I'm able to think of the good side of things, but I'm only able to do so when my world is going particularly good. So when it is going particularly good and I can imagine these good things, let's get the resumes out there. Now's the time to strike because I'm freed of my negativity for a uh limited time. So let's take advantage of this, get the resumes out there, and go into these interviews if I'm lucky enough to get them with this confidence and the momentum that is behind me. Let's take advantage, let's get some wins on the board, because then that will cause more of these positive um ways of thinking and and you know, mindset. So it sort of becomes a reward circuit that then rewards itself. So the positive positivity allows me to then apply for jobs and believe that I can do a good job and not have that imposter syndrome dragging me down and being able to nullify the inner critic, then that can lead to a new position that I really wanted and I got the job that I wanted. How amazing is that? Which equals more good times. So the more good times, let's take advantage of that again. Let's now, I don't know, you know, a plethora of things that I would like to pursue that maybe I can only do so with my full ability when things are going well. Pick out something else. So I don't know, relationships. There we go, dating. Yeah, perfect, perfect example. The other important thing in my world that's not really going anywhere. Um, so good times, get back into the dating scene, actually imagine that the date could go well, and actually imagine not too much, you don't want to go over the top with these things, but imagine that the date goes well and and you meet someone that's pretty cool and you seem to get along, you know. Actually believe that that's a possibility and then go after it. Go after it, make that a reality. Um, but I gotta do these things when things are going well, because when everything's falling apart, there is no way I'm gonna put myself out to go on dates again. No chance. There is no way I'm going to back myself in a job interview for a position that's, you know, quite um has a lot of responsibility and stuff. There's no way I'm gonna pursue those things when I'm feeling like absolute garbage. And as we know, more often than not, unfortunately, I feel like absolute garbage. So that's the point that I'm trying to get across, especially for people who think a bit like me. For you guys that are listening and going, yeah, that's the same, that's what I feel. He's doing it again, he's saying how I feel again, what's going on? Um, what's going on is that, you know, this mental ill health phenomena that I talk about is not uncommon. Um, believe it or not, there's actually a lot of us that go through this sort of stuff, and it's very, very, very difficult, very challenging. But there are ways around it. And for me, I think one of the biggest ways I can overcome that negative inaction is to take advantage when I've got that good feeling behind me and making it happen. And like I said, good feeling, go out on a limb, get a good result, more good feelings, then do it again, but for a different domain. So career into dating, and then who knows what else. Um, so there, so that's the story. So, but again, this is important for anybody. Everybody has good days, everyone has bad days, as we know. It doesn't matter. That's part of being a humanoid. Um, I think it is important for all of us to take advantage when we can. And I just want to finish off, too, with what you shouldn't do during the good times, and that is, and I alluded to it earlier, and I'll just talk a little bit on it just as we finish here. Um the thing that is important to avoid falling into the trap of when things are going well is to think that, oh, well, things are going well, you know, I can put my feet up and relax a bit. You know, every I'm content with the world. How good's this? I'm gonna take a bit of time to relax. Now, some people would advocate and argue that that's exactly what you should do. And, you know, that's fine. Um people, some people and profess mental health professionals would say that when things are going well, that you should be, you know, practice gratitude and just take it all in and sort of. But for me, I need to be action-oriented. I need to be doing something and building towards something and working towards something, or else the dopamine that's firing me along with this momentum, and that's what it is, the momentum is lots of dopamine firing organically as well, not from medications, from actual things happening in my environment, like being given an award. Um, but for me, my my way of thinking, my view on this is that yeah, during the good times, that's when you work even harder because that's the time to capitalize. And I I think sitting back and just you know, taking it all in, you know, maybe do that for a little bit, but if you do that the whole time for the say the full two-week period and then going into a two-week period of of negative mood states, um, I do think the negative stuff gets amplified by the inaction that you've taken or we've taken, I've taken during the positive moments, the two good weeks. I think, because then in the negative frame of thinking, instead of looking at, you know, relaxing and taking it all in and that being really good for oneself, you know, like if when you're feeling negative about yourself, then that's quite easily negative arguments can start about no, you weren't relaxing and just being content and taking it all in. What you were doing was being lazy, and now you've dropped the ball, you've missed your chance, and you're screwed, and you're gonna live like this forever. That's what happens to me when I know I haven't done enough when I was in a position to do stuff. I start feeling really guilty and really depressed and defeated, and it's not a good feeling. And as far as I know, for myself at least, the only way I can avoid the severity of that sort of thinking is to make sure that I work hard when I'm able to do so. Because then when I slip into that negative sort of zone, two, three, four weeks, whatever it is, um, I can at least know that I achieved X, Y, and Z during the last week, two weeks. And that is a bit of comfort when things are not going particularly well. And sometimes too, just reminding oneself of the wins that have been achieved and accomplished during the good times. Um, just reminding yourself of that and be like, oh yeah, we did we did some good stuff, and then what it that in itself can be a good way to get a bit of traction and a foothold to gain back towards a happier outlook. Um, but also it's good if you if the work's done, because then hopefully, theoretically, the rewards and the outcome and the consequences of the hard positive work, uh, those outcomes will f you know come to fruition at some point. It might not be immediate, but they're gonna come eventually, because you know, the harder you work, the luckier you seem to be. All of a sudden, I'm I'm pretty depressed this week, but hey, I got a call back for that job interview though, and they were really happy. Thank goodness I applied for that job last week when I was feeling good because you know, now that this has happened, that I feel good again, you know. All of a sudden I'm back into the positive again. How good's this? And that is good, and it's great because it is positive feelings and emotions and thoughts that are organic. They're coming from a real environmental, personal, um point of, you know, point of where it's coming. I've lost my way, what was I saying? Um, it's an organic positive frame of mind because you know that you did the hard work, and it's because of the hard work that this is now happening. And that's a great feeling because it's like, yeah, I'm in charge of my own destiny. I have agency, I am empowered, and I have the control and the ability to dictate terms and make my life one that is well and truly worth living. Whereas if you don't take the steps, then you leave yourself open for big trouble, or at least that's what happens for me. So there you go. That's my story. That actually is a lot longer than I was thinking. I hope that makes sense. I feel like I might have repeated a few sort of concepts and maybe gone over it a bit over and over again. And I'll be completely honest with you, my inner critic is just firing big time right now. Big time. You know, that little stumble over words just I don't know, probably a minute ago, I just had a little fumble. Um, I was very close, seriously, very close in that moment to press stop and then press delete. And I've had to really consciously stop myself from doing that because that would be 35 minutes of gold, of absolute amazing material loss forever. And seeing as though it is 20 to 2 in the morning right now, and I have work at 7 a.m., uh, it's pretty important maybe that I continue to save and publish this episode because there is definitely not enough time to do it again. So it's got to be this one. But I think overall it went okay. I think I got the point across, and I'm not going to repeat the point, don't worry, but I will say my dry mouth seemed to have improved a little bit as the talking went on. So that's good. So maybe that's the key. Elliot needs to do more talking, which would be to the dismay of everyone around me. But you know, whatever. That's fine. All good. Happy days. Thank you, everybody. Thank you for listening. If you're enjoying the show, feel free to like, subscribe, give the show a great rating, and you can share it around with your mates, and you can follow me on Instagram at elliott.t.waters, and you can follow the show on Facebook at the Disregulated Podcast. All right, pretty happy to get that one done. I'll talk to you soon. Have a good week. Goodbye.