Speaker 0: 0:10

G'day everybody. My name is Elliot Waters and you're listening to the Dysregulated Podcast, as always. Thank you for tuning in, alright, just a quick little check in to see how I've been over the last week or two, and things have been. Yeah, things have been a bit rough. You know that whole sleeping thing that I do, where I get the sweats. Well, the good news is I didn't get the sweats, but I definitely did the sleeping thing, which is me being in bed for two days doing absolutely nothing, not eating, not drinking, barely getting the basics done, and feeling very, very anxious and depressed about it all. So that wasn't good.

Speaker 0: 0:45

What I've noticed since I've stopped going to work full-time because I'm going three days a week this is my second week of doing so that I'm filling up my spare time with a whole lot of nothing and that's not part of the plan. So the reason why I've dropped back for three days is because I have this belief, this theory and I still think I'm right that working full-time in the capacity that I was severely hampers my social abilities moving forward. So, socially, in my role I have to talk to a lot of people, a lot of team members, a lot of customers, etc. It's a very front-facing role For someone like me who has some social complexities, like autism and social anxiety disorder and the whole rest of it. Five days a week of this sort of work can be very difficult, and it has been, and I'm blaming, not blaming it work don't get me wrong is good and has supported me. I've got no dramas when it comes to my job, except for the fact that I think there's a mismatch of abilities and competencies, and that's why I need to maybe look further afield at something that's a little bit more in keeping with my social capacity, so I don't dwindle and handicap my social capacity because, outside of work, I don't have much more to give.

Speaker 0: 1:56

The thing is, though, this is the second week of three days instead of five, and I'm finding, as I said, that I'm filling my days off with a whole lot of nothing, and, unfortunately, two of these days off have been spent, as I said, in bed, doing a whole lot of nothing and feeling very anxious and depressed about it. So that isn't good, and I haven't seen or I don't feel as though there's been any improvement to my social capacity just yet, although it is early days, but it wouldn't shock me if I'm forced to go back to full-time anyway, because life is very expensive and I don't have much money, as we know. So I've got to pay the bills somehow. So there's going to be that balance between what I'm capable of doing as far as my output goes work and in work, not just at this job, this isn't any job what my output can be and what the demands are going into it. So I don't know, it's going to be an interesting couple of weeks. I don't know how long this little test, this little theory of part-time, is going to go before the bills start knocking which they already are, let's be honest, they don't go away. So yeah, watch this space. I may go back to full time sooner than first thought, but I don't know. We'll see. Hopefully not Hopefully I can strike the balance right, have some time to really recharge, reassess and then launch again. That's the plan anyway. So we'll see how that goes. All right, um, but yeah, overall, very anxious. Week to two weeks, as per usual. Nothing's really changed there. Medication-wise, I saw the psychiatrist yesterday and the metazepine has been lifted from 15 milligrams to 30. I'm going to talk more about metazepine in the next couple of episodes and we'll have a look at what it's hopefully doing for me. After my episodes on social anxiety that I did previously about me going to the Newcastle Knights game. I actually had a lot of feedback when it comes to those episodes and others who are also feeling like their social anxiety is getting in the way of being able to achieve things so soon as well.

Speaker 0: 3:58

I'm going to do an episode about purely on social anxiety disorder. It's a big one. It's a big one. I want to do this one for a while, but it takes a lot of well, there's a lot of work to go into it before I feel as though I can publish something that's worthy of you listening. So that is coming. It might be a while, but social anxiety disorder certainly is a big problem for me. It definitely seems to be a big complication for my listeners. So, for you guys, I really want to do this episode and I want to do it in more of a positive light as well, so being able to come up with some ideas to try and negate the social anxiety, the phobia of social situations, and be able to still proceed with living and getting the things done that you need to get done, because, as I keep saying, life doesn't slow down for nobody certainly doesn't for me and social anxiety is one of those things that tries to put the brakes on, even though we've got the accelerator pushed down. So let's release that handbrake, I think, and we'll see how we go.

Speaker 0: 4:53

But yeah, there's been a lot of interest about social anxiety disorder from those two episodes, so I'm definitely going to be revisiting it again, especially because it's still a huge part of my psychological makeup massive part. So more on that soon. Excuse me. So, for those that have reached out wanting to be a part of the intake interviews, first off, thank you for showing your interest. I appreciate it and if you are one of those people, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram, at elliotttwaters, or via Facebook at the Disregulated Podcast.

Speaker 0: 5:29

Apologies to those who have reached out, I have been a bit delayed in getting all the documents sorted and sent out to you, so that bundle will be coming out soon, once I have it all ready to go. So keep an eye on your inbox for that and, as I said, if you want to get involved, if you believe you have a story that's worthy of telling which I think we all do it's just about putting that imposter syndrome away, that inner critic away, and being able to speak freely. If you think that you'd like to be a part of that, feel free to reach out to me and I'll send some of these documents along to you as well. It's just more about how to frame the episode and that sort of stuff. It's pretty basic stuff, but I want to get it right because it's not my story, it's your story. That is the episode. It's not me, I'm just a listener like everybody else and I want to do your story justice because it deserves so. So to do that, I want to do it properly. So there's some documents just to help us as far as shaping the episode goes, getting a clear idea about what we want to achieve, what sort of message we want to get out there. But at the end of the day, it's your episodes, your story. You are the expert and I'm just a listener like everybody else.

Speaker 0: 6:38

Okay, and finally, if you've been watching social media my social media, you may have noticed is a new segment being launched and there is it's called the Q&A Sessions Very exciting. So what it's all about is you send in your questions that you have on psychology, on mental health, on medications, treatments, my story whatever. If you've got a question, send it in and each week I'm going to answer a question to the best of my ability because I want you guys to be as much a part of this as me. So I want to get people on and get your interviews and hear your stories and be able to share that. I want to get your questions and be able to answer those, hopefully in some sort of logical way that makes sense. So that's the Q&A sessions coming each week. So feel free to reach out and we'll get stuck into that too. I've got the first question ready to go and it's going to be a beauty, so keep an eye out for that one. All right, that'll do for me.

Speaker 0: 7:30

This episode's been a long time coming because I've been so anxious and so just depressed about my whole situation, everything that I do. Unfortunately, that spills over into the podcasting world, because when I'm in those real depressed sort of moods I do not believe that this podcast is making any sense to people, there's no point to it and I find it very, very difficult to get the motivation to get these episodes done. But then I do things like the social anxiety, rugby league, football episodes, the ones previous to this. And then I get some amazing feedback from people who offer me some great insights into their own world, their own experiences, and that makes me think you know what? Maybe this is worth doing. Come on, elliot, keep going.

Speaker 0: 8:12

So that's why there's been a bit of a delay because, to be honest with you, I've been very depressed, but today's been a little bit different. I've just been outside getting some sun it's actually sunny again, which is amazing, so that's good for your mental health. So I've been outside with the headphones on, bopping away trying to get some of those natural endorphins and stuff like that flowing. You know, I put some washing out before in the sun, had my shirt off and everything. Thankfully, I think no one was watching, because, I tell you, the rig is looking very sloppy at the moment, but that's okay, I'm sure I'll turn that around quickly, um, but yeah, trying to get some natural endorphins going, because I have been so flat the last I don't know 15 years, but you know, the last week and a half in particular. Very, you know, like my anxiety is always there, but my depression sort of comes and goes, but it's been coming. Let me tell you, it has been there quite a bit recently, and it still is, but hopefully putting this episode out there, getting the washing on the line. I know it sounds like basic stuff, but that is the point at which I find myself needing to get these basics, the fundamentals that I talk about, getting them ticked off and then you can build a life worth living around. That, or at least that's the plan.

Speaker 0: 9:25

All right, thank you everybody for listening. I do appreciate it. If you're enjoying the show, feel free to like, subscribe, give the show a great rating and you can share it around with your mates. And you can follow me on Instagram at elliotttwaters, and you can follow the show by searching the Dysregulated Podcast on Facebook. All right, until next time. See you later, guys. Goodbye.