G'day everybody. My name is Elliot Waters and you're listening to The Dysregulated Podcast. As always, thank you for tuning in.

Alright, time to do a new skill — a new DBT skill. I've been wanting to do this one for a while, but here's the problem: when I'm not in the best frame of mind, it's very hard to do these particular episodes, the more empowering ones, because I look at them and think, geez, that's what I should be doing.

This is actually an example of the skill in action right now. I just finished work — I started at 5am, I know, so early — and all I really wanted to do was bum on the lounge, lay down, have a sleep, you know, that sort of stuff. But I know that if I do that, I’ll feel really guilty later. There are other things that might be taxing, like doing this episode, but I know in the long run I’ll feel much better for it.

It’s something called opposite action. So I wanted to lay down and do nothing, but I’m doing the opposite action and recording this episode.

What is Opposite Action?

Opposite action is a core skill in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and it works. It was developed to help people manage emotions and reduce impulsive reactions. It involves choosing a behaviour that is the opposite of what your current emotion is urging you to do.

For example, emotionally I was like, “Oh Elliot, just lay down mate. Don’t worry about it. Go into hermit mode, turn the phone off, don’t talk to anyone.” But that’s not what I want to be doing. I want to be here, talking to you and getting this episode done.

So emotions, thanks for the input, but my wise mind knows there’s something better I could be doing right now — and I am doing it.

Why Opposite Action Matters

Our emotions often push us towards unhelpful or even harmful actions — things like avoidance, aggression, or isolation. By consciously choosing the opposite action, we reduce the intensity of those emotions and promote healthier responses.

The goal is to change our automatic, maladaptive responses and replace them with better ones. It’s about taking power away from the emotion and giving it back to our wise mind.

This skill is especially helpful for people like me with impulse control issues — ADHD and BPD folks, I see you. It’s about taking command of our actions and rewiring the brain to better cope with life.

How to Practice Opposite Action

1. Identify the Emotion
   Be specific — are you feeling anxious, angry, sad, overwhelmed?
2. Understand the Urge
   What is your emotion pushing you to do? Avoid? Lash out? Withdraw?
3. Consider the Opposite
   What would the opposite behaviour be?
   • Anxious? Engage instead of avoid.
   • Angry? Stay calm instead of lashing out.
   • Sad? Get up and move instead of isolating.
4. Choose to Do It
   Make a conscious decision: “I’m doing this because my emotion is not in charge today.”
5. Take Action
   Even if it’s uncomfortable, do it anyway. It will feel unnatural at first, but act despite the emotion, not because of it.
6. Reflect on the Outcome
   Did the intensity of the emotion go down? Do you feel more empowered? This reflection builds motivation and confidence for next time.

Real-Life Examples

• Anger: Feeling like yelling? Opposite action = stay calm, breathe, walk away. Outcome = break the cycle, avoid conflict.
• Anxiety: Want to cancel plans? Opposite action = go to the event anyway. Outcome = gain confidence.
• Sadness: Want to stay in bed? Opposite action = get up, move, connect. Outcome = mood lift.

Helpful Tips

• Practice Regularly: Makes it more automatic over time.
• Use Reminders: Notes, phone alarms, or even a paper in your wallet.
• Ground and Reflect: Deep breaths and reflection before acting.
• Track Your Progress: Journaling when you use the skill and how it helped.

How It Changes Your Brain

• Prefrontal Cortex (higher-order thinking, impulse control) becomes stronger.
• Amygdala (fear/emotion center) becomes less reactive.
• Neuroplasticity: The brain rewires itself. The more you practice, the stronger those healthier pathways become.

Emotional Tipping Point

There’s a moment — like standing on the edge of a bungee jump — where you feel like you're about to free fall. That’s the emotion trying to pull you back. But if you jump — if you act opposite — the rewards are real: relief, pride, empowerment.

Even if it feels scary or unnatural, trust the process. It will work. Faith in the process matters, especially when you’re acting against what feels safe or familiar.

Final Thoughts

Every time you successfully use opposite action, you grow. Your brain changes. You gain more trust in your ability to make healthy decisions. And you prove to your inner critic that you — not your emotions — are running the show.

This skill is a slow, incremental process. But over time, you gain more control, more peace, more empowerment.

And guess what? Me doing this episode is opposite action in real time. I wanted to lie down, but instead, I’m here. And I already feel better for it.

Transcript Note:
This transcript was AI-generated and may contain minor errors. Thanks for understanding.