The Dysregulated Podcast
Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told.
This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future.
The Dysregulated Podcast
Beyond the Bottle #7 - Stumbling and Relapse
After 11 months of sobriety, I’ve found myself back at square one. In this episode, I open up about my journey with alcohol, the challenges of staying sober, and the reasons behind my relapse. Despite nearly a year without drinking, I struggled to see the big rewards I had hoped for—a new job, a partner, or tangible signs of improvement. My "deal" with the universe felt unanswered.
I discuss life with autism and social anxiety, navigating solo outings like Oasis tribute shows, and battling the ever-present negative inner monologue. This led me to reconsider alcohol—not as a vice, but as a "tool" to ease social anxiety and improve confidence, much like medication helps with ADHD. However, I explain the reality that alcohol has never truly solved these challenges, especially when it comes to quieting my inner critic or helping me connect with others.
This is an honest reflection on relapse, loneliness, and the complex role alcohol plays in managing social struggles and mental health.
🌱 If you’ve faced similar challenges with sobriety, relapse, or social anxiety, I hope this episode offers solidarity and support.
To support the show, CLICK HERE
You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters
